Tag Archive: rude

And what if they say no?

Thanks to the rush by corporate finance departments to embrace cheaper open plan offices (to encourage collaboration!), this sort of article is likely to pop up more often: Here’s exactly what to say to quiet a noisy coworker — without being rude.  Work is already fraught with potential pitfalls and misunderstandings, and thanks to open plan offices now you get to see whether this Business Insider advice delivers the quiet you crave or a new nemesis at work! So what does Rosalinda Oropeza Randall, “an etiquette and civility expert and the author of ‘Don’t Burp in the Boardroom,'” suggest?  This:

You’ll want to walk over to their desk and say something like, “You know, I have never been able to concentrate unless it’s totally silent. And I know that’s unrealistic … but can I ask you, for the next couple hours, while I’m working on this project, would you keep it down for me? I’d really appreciate it.”

Ok.  So what do you do the next day?

Here at Silencity we’d suggest punting to HR or someone higher in the food chain, especially if you don’t know the person who is making your work life hell. You’re not a psychologist (unless you are), and trying to get your work done in less than optimal surroundings is enough of a burden. If your employer puts you in a situation where confronting a noisy co-worker is inevitable, then surely your employer must have designed mechanisms for dealing with the problem.  So let the HR manager or your boss figure out how to quiet your noisy work neighbor.  That’s why they’re there.

 

Breaking the social contract?

The Tyranny of Noise.  Do click the link as this is a worthwhile read.  In this brief post, the author talks about the daily aural intrusions into our personal space as we are forced to deal with what the author calls a “kind of social rudeness.”  We would remove the words “kind of” from that phrase.  In any event, the author lists three ways in which she attempts “to push back on the cacophony of sounds in [her] immediate environment”: using earphones, using earplugs, and meditation.  We would add:

  • request that loud music be lowered in stores, restaurants, and coffee shops; if the request is denied, leave after telling management that you will not be returning.
  • ask people who are talking loudly in public spaces to lower their voices, particularly if they are in spaces that have been designated as quiet spots (like the quiet cars on Amtrak trains).

We understand that it is difficult for some to ask a waitress or store manager to lower the music volume or, especially, to approach someone and ask them to lower their voice, but until we all do this, unnecessary noise will continue to intrude into our lives.