In “Why I hate my fellow commuters in the quiet carriage.” Brian Yatman, The Sidney Morning Herald, writes about commuting by train and how the quiet car is abused by the rude and ignorant. We’ve been there, although unlike Mr. Yatman we may have asked someone to keep it down once (or three times). In any event, his suggestion for maintaining quiet car decorum is spot on:
What we need is some kind of official presence authorised to apply the shushing finger of the law. These marshals would glide about in comfy shoes, separating chatty couples, handing out Reader’s Digests, keeping the peace. They would issue warnings in the form of aphorisms. “Let us be silent, that we may hear the whispers of the gods,” they would intone, invoking the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Repeat offenders would be escorted off the train.
Or offenders could be thrown off, literally, to save time (and quickly escape the sound of their screams). Do not violate the sanctity of the quiet car.